Personal Prayer Power Blog

 

 

 

Recently I received two different emails from parents who were feeling great pain and sorrow over their grown children’s situations.  One was from a mother whose son had been unexpectedly deployed to

Iraq for 18 months leaving behind a wife and an infant and the other was from a friend whose son was headed for a heartbreaking split with his wife. 

 

It’s hard to adequately answer such emails, but here’s what I wrote back to my friend:  

 

You really raise some very profound questions that I think all parents struggle with about our children and also with our own elderly parents when we become responsible for their care.  I recently talked to Guideposts writer Marion Bond West Acuff about her book on Nevertheless living when her husband Jerry died of brain cancer.  You can read about it in the Personal Prayer Power Action Guide in the chapter on How Prayer Shapes the Future Part 2: Choice and Limiting Forces.  (go to www.personalprayerpower.com for ordering details)   

What you’re up against are what I call limiting forces, things you can’t change except for your response to them.  These include all sorts of things that you’ve experienced in your life so far, such as the death of loved ones, illnesses, child rearing problems, even hurricanes.  I call these forces that limit our ability to choose The Future Nevertheless.  We really don’t have any choice or the ability to change what’s happening, so we turn to our resources of faith in God to help us live good lives despite the limiting forces.   One incredibly important thing

Marion told me is that you have go to through the fear and pain first before you can get to faith.  She said it’s like wanting to have a child without the pain and labor.  (She had me word it that way so adoptive parents wouldn’t feel left out.  Adoptive parents usually go through more pain for their child’s arrival than a normal labor and delivery.)           So in answer to your underlying question, you’re supposed to feel pain and be fearful at the beginning, because this is a natural part of the faith process.  If you didn’t feel that way right now, then the faith and trust you will later feel would not be real. 

Marion calls it the fear to faith cycle.  She says you can’t skip over the fear and pain part.  It’s real and it’s part of the process.   May God continue to bless you and your family with His loving presence.